


Imperfection

by setsukayoichi



Series: Two faces of the same medal [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: #hate, #love, #markhyuk, #poetry #poem #angst #butnot #strangestuff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-19 01:57:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11887506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/setsukayoichi/pseuds/setsukayoichi
Summary: Donghyuk didn't know. He just didn't understand emotions he didn't know the meaning of the emotions he felt. It's like having water running on your skin, it doesn't go inside , it just runs.





	1. 1.Imperfection

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!  
> This is Setsuka who speaks!  
> I'm sorry for this mess I'm creating, I would love to receive many comments to grew better and to know what you think about this whole stuff I have in my mind but not in my hands /?
> 
> English is not my mother tongue so help me if you find any mistakes and i don't have a beta reader, so if someone would like to help me, contact me on twitter please! @SetsukaYoichi
> 
> At first I didn't want to write a whole fanfiction, It was more like something in verses like a poetry in which you talk about scenes without really describing it. So I would be glad if while reading you could enter this Mind-set although i'm not sure about how it is going now (?). When it feels like I'm changing the line easily read while imagining white words in a black background and imagine hearing the noise of water dripping on the floor.  
> Every chapter's name is the name of a song but it's not completely inspired by it.  
> This first chapter song is: Imperfection by Skillet! See you in the ending notes!

If Mark was perfection,  
Donghyuk was imperfect.  
If Mark would bring something good to life,  
Donghyuk was self-destructive.  
The first time they met  
It was hate at first sight,  
But isn't it funny?  
Love and Hate are two faces of the same medal  
There's just a thin line between them and in the meantime they are the same thing:  
Destruction.  
It was like this since the beginning. 

They met in the library,  
For Donghyuk a sacred place  
For Mark a way to escape.

Mark was reading one of his beloved physics books when he found inside of it a letter, a love letter, another one. He was sick of all this people declaring their love for him when they don't even know past his name. It was always like this since he can remember, his good look paid him a lot during the years, having always someone who wants to get in your life without you putting the minimum effort.  
He noticed the girl who sent the letter to him some tables away in front of him. He could feel her nervousness when he opened the letter and read it.  
"Dear Mark,  
It's Hyerim writing, I always wanted to tell you but I never found the courage to , so I thought of writing what's on my mind (...) I like you. I know we don't speak very much but give us an opportunity to get to know each other better. Thank you for reading and think about it!  
Yours truly, Hyerim "  
He smiled at her with one of his best smiles and wrote on the back of the envelope: "I'm sorry Hyerim but I don't want a relationship right now, you are cute! Find someone better!"  
He couldn't think of anything better to say, he was never the good one with words, just with actions.  
He got up and gave the letter back to her while smiling brightly. And then he noticed. He noticed the guy watching over the whole scene with a pitiful look in his eyes, but it wasn't for Hyerim, it was for him. Almost if he knew what was on Mark's mind better then Mark himself and the sly smile that appeared soon after gave him the confirmation.

After concluding his whole peek-a-boo of the outside world with a disgusting look on his face for the scene he just saw he came back to his beloved philosophy book. Another hypocrite and a girl in love with him, life is really a joke sometimes. He thought before immersing himself in the book. Nothing could make him feel better than exploring the philosophies text. Philosophy was like that, touching the earth with a finger and grabbing a little bit of a cloud inside of it.  
Donghyuk loved and hated it.  
He was extremely thirsty for it and thinking that he hasn't the time to learn every single fucking philosopher existed and existing on earth made him feel small . A tiny little useless existence on earth that won't change it or make it better.  
Just someone, just anybody , just him passing by.  
With that bitterness that felt like everyone else every day coffee he went back home that day.  
And wanted to change. Not to become someone better , just... just to become what he always wanted to be, someone living and that leaves a mark.  
That's how his writing lyrics routine started.  
He thought of singers as a new way of imprinting himself in something, in songs.  
At the age of 17 he finally confessed to his mother his desire to start music classes and at his biggest surprise his mother just gave him the money for it, saying: " just leave the house, I don't care what you do "  
Donghyuk felt ... Hurt? He did not know If he was hurt by her words but he was sure that something changed.  
He could try something that inspired him, music.  
He signed himself for the beginners singing class, and it made him feel ... happy?  
Donghyuk didn't know. He just didn't understand emotions he didn't know the meaning of the emotions he felt. Its like having water running on your skin, it doesn't go inside , it just runs.


	2. 2.Demons

One year passed.  
Donghyuk changed.   
Mark worsened.

Mark and Donghyuk met again.

The music school Donghyuk was signed in, organized a training camp in march where all the students needed to attend.  
Donghyuk as the punctual freak he was, he was the first to enter on the bus the school booked. He sat on the middle of the bus seats near the window taking out from his backpack one of his books and his earphones to listen to his own personal playlist. 

Mark got in the bus almost last with his group of friends. The Group. They were the popular kids and you could tell even only by their looks. A bunch of good looking kids all together to rule whatever school they were in.  
When Mark entered in the bus the first thing that captured his eyes was this boy. That boy. Looking at him felt so familiar yet so distant.  
“Where did I meet him?”   
Was the question now occupying his mind. The red-haired boy with his tan skin and his perfect nose, why does he seem so familiar?   
Mark couldn’t answer his own doubt.  
He went sitting near Jeno, his long-lasting friend.

Donghyuk was in his own world until the bus trip ended and was forced by social convention to become a social person with every social interaction possible in this world.  
It wasn’t that he hated people It’s just that it wasn’t easy for him to be accepted by others. He knew He was his worst enemy but he couldn’t just change the way he was because he hurt others without even knowing it.

All the students of each course were divided in a three-member group.  
Donghyuk was lucky his team mates were Chenle and Jisung, they were the ones he was the closest with. Chenle witness matched with his and Jisung was just too cute for his own good. He liked them, but he wasn’t sure it was reciprocated. 

For the training camp, all the students took the classes together, every class the school had to offer: from dancing, to singing, to composing and even rapping.   
Donghyuk was exited for the full opportunity he had, two weeks to learn everything you can possibly learn. A full schedule of his favourite subject, music.  
The first day they arrived at the dormitory they were explained the full timetable and the purpose of the training camp :   
The possibility of changing the school in a professional performing art college, and to do it the directors needed to check the whole school level.  
At the end of the camp each 3-member unit will become a 6-member group able to create a whole song performance. 

Mark wasn’t believing his ears. This whole experience was starting to become unreal for him. He always loved music, composing, rapping but he never thought of it more than a hobby. And if the project was going on he couldn’t let it slip from his hands.  
He felt relieved knowing one of his team mates better than just a team mate, he was happy having Jeno with him in this. The other team mate he had was an older guy with a sweet smile that creates two cute dimples. He was mesmerized from his beauty and when he learnt that Jaehyun was his name, he couldn’t think of a better name for expressing his beauty. He learnt that Jaehyun was taking the advanced singing class and the intermediate composing and dancing classes. It was his hobby putting himself into something and music was the best for his case. Mark understood completely Jaehyun point, relating with his need to think about something else and music always seemed to make him feel better.

After the first day dinner, the teachers explained that the 6 member groups will be formed by randomly extracting two units and that they couldn’t be changed.   
The next day the extraction was done. Every unit was informed that the 6-member practice time will be before going to bed and for the first week they needed to meet just twice. 

Mark was doomed. His unit of advanced was assigned with a beginner unit, and only god knows why this unit has the red-haired guy in it. 

Donghyuk was already tired of his unit’s partner, they had two of the popular guys he didn’t want to interact with. His destiny was really playing a joke on him and he accepted it with one of his most faceless expression.   
On the first 6 members meeting the guys had to split into 3 couples to do a cover of some famous songs Donghyuk didn’t even know about. Since his luck abandoned him, Hyuk had to be in couple with Mark. The best of the best, the most popular of the popular guys, the falsest person with the brightest hypocrite smile. The only part of Mark that worked in Donghyuk mind was his playing skills, at least he knew to do something. 

“I’m Mark Lee, I’m 19. I’m in rapping and composing advanced classes and I can play some instruments, I hope we can work well together, take care of me!”

“Call me Haechan. I’m 18 and I’m taking every beginner classes. Take care of me hyung.” 

Short, Haechan introduction was short. It was Mark’s first thought after hearing the boy’s voice for the first time. Mark gave him his most beautiful smile and started talking about the first task they had as a couple in mission: which song to cover.   
Mark choose was Justin Bieber “Love yourself” and Haechan didn’t say no, actually, after his introduction he didn’t say a word, at all.  
Mark wasn’t sure if it was for him not letting the other speak or if he just wasn’t someone of many words, in each case after giving him all the song info he didn’t get to listen to Haechan singing. At that point, he understood to have done an unforgettable mistake. “What if he doesn’t know how to sing properly? What if he will embarrass me tomorrow at the first evaluation? Why me with the weirdo of all this people?”   
Mark was going nuts at all these doubts invading his mind.

Finally, the day came, all the students were seated behind the teachers to take turn to perform in front of them, ready to listen to every couple in mission performance.  
Haechan and him, they were almost the last to perform, just to remind himself that he wouldn’t know how much he screwed ‘till the end.   
And then it started.   
They went to sit in the prepared seats in front of the teachers, they bowed and told their name like everyone else.  
“Mark thought of performing Justin Bieber’s ‘Love yourself’, I liked the idea so get ready to listen to it”  
These were the last words Mark could think of remembering their performance. 

He thought Haechan was interesting, he knew he was handsome at some point but he never imagined his voice to be this unique and addicting.

Mark was falling   
Donghyuk was rising  
How did it become like this?

 

Even when Mark messed playing his guitar part, Haechan was already ahead of him singing the correct lines to adjust his mess. 

Mark was overwhelmed.   
How can someone voice feel like everything but nothing?  
He felt full when he didn’t even eat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave me feed back so i can continue with peace in my heart (...)  
> what do you think?


	3. 3.Drown

3.DROWN

Haechan felt satisfied with their whole performance, the teachers gave them high marks and assumed mark’s fault was part of the performance. Donghyuk knew he saved Mark’s ass but being an asshole telling him he messed up wasn’t part of his plans so after taking his paper with his marks he went to sit near Chenle sharing his results.

During the class, they had in common (so everyone) Mark tried to talk to Donghyuk to apologize for the other day’s mistake, the answer he got after following him all day was   
‘Practice more’.  
<< Why the hell Haechan was so short? People die to talk with me and he just ignore me? Who the hell he thinks he is? >>   
Mark was annoyed, for once he tried to start the conversation with someone and that someone couldn’t be nastier and while with him was nasty with others laughed, with his teammates was even always smiling.   
<< Why do I have this treatment and others not? >>   
When Mark realized, he was the only one treated that annoying way he was really pissed.  
He decided it was an eye per an eye.   
Every time Donghyuk was near him, even by mistakes, he started saying out loud jokes about him to Jeno and Jaehyun. The older couldn’t care less about the younger problems but Jeno had to keep it up laughing to please his friend.  
What Mark couldn’t expect was Haechan reaction. Emotionless. The only thing Haechan gave to Mark was an understanding stare.   
Haechan knew he was going to be the outcast again and he couldn’t care less. Mark was the one who cared about it.   
<< Why is he making me look pitiful with his gaze? He is the one I’m laughing at why does he make me seem like nothing, he doesn’t even seem to hate me, he pities me. >>

The seed was planted  
The insidious seed of interest was starting to grow his roots  
The vicious little tiny invisible seed was watered with every look  
At that time, Mark didn’t know  
He didn’t know what the double-edged sword of love meant

 

Another day went by, Haechan was tired of socializing as always, it wasn’t that he didn’t like people or talking, he didn’t like the fake hypocrite talk he had to bear every day of his life for it to go on.   
He thought of himself as a philosopher, an ethereal being forced to be material, an existence he did not choose to have. His birth, a hated gift from the creator of life.  
People were animals put together to coexist, to create, to destroy not getting the hint of the purpose of life itself.   
Between the clouds that his mind was, he was searching for his purpose, for it to be another narrator of his philosophy, for it to be an inspiration for others with his voice, for it to be someone that life’s mattered.  
Haechan noted the grudge Mark had on him, another one that didn’t like him, he pitied him. When people don’t feel enough they tend to release their fears on other people lives, and here we have the ones, the better ones that want to feel accepted with helping others, and the ones that want to feel better than others.   
Mark was one of them, he wanted to raise himself above others, he wanted people to follow him, naming his behaviour leadership when it wasn’t more than fear, than tyranny, than an invisible hold he had on others to feel raised.

Haechan knew.   
He understood it.  
Like history teach us, eat or be eaten.  
Create the history or read it.   
It’s not an easy world for those people how you might think.  
When you do something bad, you are the one feeling worst.  
Maybe not right after, but with time you will understand it.  
What comes around goes around they said.  
It’s a simple rule, but the most powerful one.  
To do something bad, you need to feel bad, and it’s not the best feeling in the world.  
Before being a bully, you are a person, becoming the bully makes you just want you to make others feel what you feel. Pain. Unbearable pain. The one you need to take out on others because you wouldn’t be able to handle by yourself.  
After sending Mark an understanding look he went to sit, ready for the next lesson they had, singing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this shit is short, but i felt a really strong grip on me while writing. i hope with this story i can keep writing even more about these delicate themes. As always let me know what you think. i hope i can write this ff in a easier way but its really difficult to keep the initial mindset! Soooo... lets hope i will update soon or at least once a week.. With comments and kudos you really make me want to go on so please always leave me feedback! A minute more for writing a little comment for you is like hours of satisfaction for me <3  
> thank you very much for reading sweethearts <3

**Author's Note:**

> This is me again~ so the chapter is short! I think.. the next one will be a bit longer! Let me know what you think please!  
> If you feel like you did not completely understand some phrases, use your imagination or just write me i will be really glad to answer you!  
> I need some side ships, any ideas?  
> See you in the next chapter!


End file.
